Our Heart Attitude

Dr. Marian Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2014

Author, Speaker, Educator

Perhaps you've grumbled about a co-worker, "She always has such a bad attitude. I can't stand being around her." Maybe you've been told, "You have a bad attitude," or said to your teen, "When you change your attitude, I'll talk to you." Last week I spoke to a group of moms. One segment of the talk was checking our heart attitude. I adapted these questions from a book, Checklist for Life for Moms.¹

•  Do you recognize that your attitudes can have far-reaching effects on your family?
• Do you acknowledge that a negative attitude can easily develop into a critical way of life?
• Do you accept that you can choose your attitude toward a particular person or situation?
• Do you consider that your thoughts & attitudes should reflect those of Christ?
• Do you trust God to show you the positive qualities in those who usually engender negative feelings?
• Do you appreciate the common ground that can be found in negative or difficult family members?

So how do you check your own attitude? How is your attitude critical to your daily life?
Checklist for Life for Moms, Thomas Nelson, 2005.
Image from: www.stockpholio.com Heart by Seyed Mosafa Zamani.

"Do you work?"

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2014
Author, Educator, Speaker

Ever been at a social gathering and someone inquires, "Do you work?"

My gut reaction is, Of course I work. Doesn't every mom work? But I also know the inquirer really wants to know if I hold an important job that requires a college education and offers social status. Another variation is, "Where do you work?" In other words, do you work for a prestigious company and make six figures?

Medical forms also request work information. When I was a young mother I'd respond, "I don't work." But I didn't like how it sounded. It felt like I was less than someone else, less important than a mother who holds a paying job outside the home. My husband and I made the choice for me to be the primary caretaker of our children. So why was I feeling so down when I was doing the most important job at that time?

When our girls entered school, I finally arrived at a creative answer that I felt proud to share. "I'm the Vice-President of the Fritzemeier Foundation." When someone requests my work phone, I simply repeat my home number.  

One day at medical appointment, the doctor inquired, "What's the Fritzemeier Foundation?  It sounds important."

"You're right. I'm impacting the entire next generation by training young people to live independently, develop job proficiency, demonstrate leadership skills, participate in civic responsibilities, and become life-long learners."

"Sound interesting," he nods.

"It's pretty remarkable. No two days are ever the same. It keeps me on my toes."

Back to work.

Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/ question-mark-1409010-s. Accessed 4/16/2014.

What's Restorative Justice anyways?

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2014

Author, Speaker, Educator

 

As I taught three-three hour sessions to educators in a local school district, many of you wondered, what is she talking about? I'm not familiar with this thought.

 

Definition & Goals. Howard Zehr describes the concept as, "Restorative justice is a process to involve, to the extent possible, those who have a stake in a specific offense and to collectively identify and address harms, needs, and obligations, in order to heal and put things as right as possible."  ^{1, p. 37} The three main goals of Restorative Justice include holding the offender accountable for his/her actions, increasing community safety for everyone, and building competency skills for those involved. ^{2, p. 6}

                 

My interest? Since this isn't a topic I typically teach and write about, how did I get interested in restorative justice? My dissertation topic was how district attorneys decide to try a juvenile offender as an adult or as a juvenile. Throughout my research, I consistently read about how restorative justice holds offenders accountable for their actions and make things as right as possible. 

                 

Results. When restorative justice is used with first time offenders, they often don't become repeat offenders. They realize that what they did caused harm to others and/or harm to property. Say for example, a young person is found doing graffiti. This adolescent would be responsible for paying for the paint and spending so many hours painting over graffiti in the community where he or she lives.  Painting graffiti often loses its appeal when there are natural consequences. That's what I love about restorative justice. It teaches consequences and how others have been hurt by the offender's actions. The goal is to "make things right."

                 

Cheating Students. As a college professor, I used restorative justice with my students who chose cheating. Because my students were future teachers, and California has a Code of Ethics for Educators, students write a Code of Ethics for themselves. When I discover they have cheated, we examine their code of ethics. Does cheating fit their code of ethics? No, it does not. The students receive a zero on the assignment or exam, but it goes beyond that. I want them to quit cheating.

                 

Holding Students Accountable. So I ask students if they'd be willing to notify all their teachers the following semester that they were involved in a cheating incident. They want to change their behavior and become ethical educators. Guess what happens when a student confesses to cheating? The professor watches them like a hawk. By the end of the semester, "cheating students" usually change their ways. This is way better than just getting a zero. Natural consequences and restoring correct behavior. A win-win for all involved.

Sources:

1. The Little Book of Restorative Justice, Howard Zehr, Good Books, 2002.
2. Implementing Restorative Justice, Jessica Ashley, & Kimberly Burke, State of Illinois.
3. Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/ justice-SRB-1-1040136-m. Accessed 4/17/2014.