10 Parental Roles: Reducing Negative Peer Pressure, Tips 1 & 2

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013

Author, Speaker, Educator

When parents consider school age peer pressure, perhaps they imagine the ways the child himself must resist the pressure. Although we'll look at the child's role in a later blog, there are ten tips or parental roles that help reduce negative peer pressure for their school age children. We'll look at all of these over the next several blogs. Today let's look at the first two.                                                          

Teach Your Children. The first principle is to teach your children. When do you teach them? I think of it as "way of life" teaching. As you go through each day, as you walk through life, you are using every day opportunities and examples to teach your children about life and what is important.

Principle. A book in the Bible called Deuteronomy, has a verse I use to support this concept. Deuteronomy 11:19 instructs, " You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up."¹

When Do You Teach? Basically, you are teaching your children when you're at home, while you're out and about, when they go to bed, and after they get up. If you take advantage of these various times, you'll discover many opportunities for teaching your children. You can teach them as you drive them to and from activities or attending church, school, and community events together as a family while you're participating in community service projects.

Helping Others. As you share your time, talents, and resources with non-profit organizations that address social issues, you're teaching your children about helping others, the value of community service, and giving.

Role Modeling. You are also teaching them by your example. Do your words encourage and build others up or for gossiping and criticism? Can your children repeat your language or do you use swear words and tell them only adults can use these words? How do you treat your friends, the pregnant teenager, the elderly, those who have less than you do, and the homeless woman on the street corner? Do you instruct them not to use drugs while you drink and smoke? Be mindful that little ones are watching your examples.

Create Bonds. The second tip is to create strong bonds with your children long before the adolescent years. With adolescence right around the corner, the school age years are a perfect time for strengthening the bonds you established in early childhood. "The strength of a child’s relationship with his or her family will directly impact on whether peer pressure will be a productive or destructive influence in the child’s life."²

 

Family Night. Having a regular family night is one way to spend special time with your children. Let them take turns choosing a fast-food restaurant for dinner or take-out and then play games at home or watch a special movie. If you can't afford to eat dinner out, make a special treat, like caramel popcorn or hot chocolate.

Meals. Eating meals together is one of the best strategies for building relationships. The older children get, the more challenging this becomes. Make it a priority to eat a certain number of meals together each week. It doesn't have to be dinner. It could be a combination of breakfast, lunch and/or dinner times. You may need to juggle schedules and meal times, but the benefits outweigh the challenges.  Implementing these first two tips gets parents on track for helping their school age children reduce negative peer pressure.

Sources:

1. New American Standard Bible
2. Adolescent Rebellion Can be Quelled, www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail. Accessed 10/14/2013.
3. Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/ girls-at-Christmas-tree-655041-2. Accessed 4/18/2014.