Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D.
© 2013
Author, Speaker, Educator
This is the last of a five blog
series on parents' roles in reducing negative peer pressure for school age
children. Today we'll look at tips 8, 9 and 10.
Suspending Judgment. The eighth tip is suspending judgment when your child
confides in you about his/her peers.1 Sometimes the “friend” is actually
the child him or herself so watch what you say. Your goal is to learn more about
the situation by keeping communication open. Become an expert on asking open-ended
questions. For example, “Sounds like Matthew's really struggling. What could
you do to help him through this tough time?”
Ignore Shocking Statements. Closely related is tip nine, ignore
shock value statements. Sometimes it feels like kids just want to push your
buttons, but what they're actually doing is figuring out what they believe. For
example, a child who is raised in a church might say, "I don't want to go
to church anymore. I don’t think there's really a God."
Overreacting? Most parents tend to over react. "How can you say that after all we've taught you?" A better response is, “Tell me what you’re thinking about.” Help the child reach his or her own conclusions. Eventually, children need to take on their own personal beliefs and values. Over reacting will only push them away.
Overreacting? Most parents tend to over react. "How can you say that after all we've taught you?" A better response is, “Tell me what you’re thinking about.” Help the child reach his or her own conclusions. Eventually, children need to take on their own personal beliefs and values. Over reacting will only push them away.
Warning Signs. The last tip is looking for signs that peer pressure is becoming a problem. If you notice attitude changes; withdrawal; sudden materialism; and/or intense interest in "taboo" behaviors or possessions, you may want to consider professional help.2 Often these indicators are beyond parents' skills and expertise. Using some or all of these parenting tips will help your school age child deal with negative peer pressure.
Next
Blog: Positive Peer Pressure
Sources:
- When Peer Pressure is Good For Your Child, Carolyn Hoyt, Good Housekeeping, Women.com Networks, Inc.
- Peer Pressure: Why it seems worse than ever and how to help kids resist it, Malia Jacobson, August 29, 2013, www.parentmap.com. Accessed 10/5/2013.
- Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/ top-secret-637885-m. Accessed 4/18/2014.
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