A Quiz: Are you a Helicopter Parent?

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013

Author, Speaker, Educator

"Helicopter parents can be identified by their tendency to hover close to their child, ready to come to the rescue at the first sign of difficulty or disappointment," explains Indiana University psychologist, Chris Meno. ¹ She counsels "over-parented" college students on gaining independence. 

Hovering Parents. "Helicopter parents can be identified by their tendency to hover close to their child, ready to come to the rescue at the first sign of difficulty or disappointment." ¹

Here's a quiz to help determine if you tend to allow your child to be responsible for her actions or if you lean towards helicopter parenting.

Child or Teen? I've used the term "child," but you can also substitute the word child for "teen." I'm looking for 5 more questions to add to the "quiz." If you have a question or two to add, please post a comment. Thanks.

Questions

1.     Do you wake up your child to get ready for school?

2.     Do you continually remind your child it's time to get up?

3.     Do you keep repeating, "We leave for _____ (school, practice, or church) in ____ minutes."?

4.     If your child is late, do you change your schedule to accommodate your child's tardiness?

5.     Do you take responsibility for your child's things, like packing her sports bag for practice or his backpack?

6.     Do you complete or adjust your child's homework and/or project until it meets your standards?

7.     Do you take your child's homework, music instrument, and/or project to school if your child forgets it?

8.     Do you allow your child to stay home "sick" because he has a project due that isn't done or a test she didn't study for?

9.     Do you call or email your child's teacher over grades or assignments?

10.  Do you make excuses for your child's misbehavior, such as, "The referee made a bad call."?

11.  Do you run on the sports field immediately if your child's hurt?

12.  Do you rush in to settle your child's disputes to ensure it is settled fairly?

13.  When your child fails at something, do you reward him for trying?

14.  Do you wait on your child by getting her snack or something to drink?

15.  Do you make something different because your child doesn't like what everyone else is eating?

16.  Do you expect your child not to do chores since school is his "work"?

17.  Do you manage your child's schedule?

18.  Do you call or text your child many times a day to check in?

19.  Is your child your best friend?

20.  Do you manage your child's money? Allowance?

Answer Key:

If you typically answered "never or rarely," you tend to allow your child to be responsible for his actions.

If you generally answered "sometimes," you frequently allow your child to be responsible for her actions, but sometimes you rescue your child.

If you answered "usually" to the majority of the questions, you typically rescue your child and take responsibility for him. This is referred to as "helicopter parenting."

Next Blog: 5 to 8 Year Olds and Peer Pressure

Source:

1. "Helicopter parents" stir up anxiety, depression, Indiana University, IU Newsroom, newsinfo.iu.edu › Newsroom Home › Newsletter Home‎. Accessed 10/8/2013.

2. Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/. helicopter-3-1032378-m. Accessed 4/17/2014.
  

Back to School & Sleep

Dr. Marian Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013
Author, Speaker, Educator

Ahhhh, summer vacation. Swimming, camping, amusement parks, and later bed times for children. But school is just around the corner. How can parents help get their children's sleep back on schedule so they're not tired when school starts and the alarm goes off way earlier than in the summer?

Do the Math. About two weeks before school starts, calculate how much earlier your children need to get up for school. For example, is your child is sleeping in until 9:00 AM and will have to get up at 7:00 AM for school, that's two hours. Figure out roughly how much earlier they need to get up each day so that they're ready for the school alarm clock. If they got up just ten minutes earlier every day, they'd be on track for the earlier wake-up time.

How Much Sleep? While you're figuring out their wake-up times, just how much sleep does your child need? The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (2012) recommends that school age children (kindergarteners to 8th graders) need 9 to 10 hours of sleep. Ninth and 10th graders need 9.25 hours while 11th and 12th graders need 8.5 hours.

More Sleep? Your child needs more sleep if he/she has challenges getting up in the morning. Obviously, if your child falls asleep during school, he/she needs more sleep. Another reason your child may need more sleep if they are overly active and/or acting out.

Routines Help. Make bedtime consistent, relaxing routine. For younger children, a bath and story time are positive ways to end the day. If your children are sensitive to caffeine and/or sugar, eliminate these in the evenings. Don't forget, chocolate contains caffeine.

Electronics & Sleep. Keep electronics out of the bedroom two hours before bedtime. Even the light from televisions or electronic devices can suppress the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps aides sleep. Following these suggestions and a healthy breakfast will help your child be ready to learn when he/she returns to school this fall.

1. Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/watching-for-sandman-409757-s. Accessed 4/17/2014.