Save, Share, Spend & Other Money Matters

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013

Author, Speaker, Educator

"Can I get a candy bar?"

"Can I have some money to buy a hot dog at the baseball snack shack?"

 "Can you buy me .....?"

Things Cost Money. Do you recognize these pleas for spending your money? In thinking about what money skills young people will need to live independently, the school age years are ideal for teaching about money management. At an early age, children learn that things they want cost money. They know what dollar bills in a birthday card are for.

In elementary school, usually during second grade, children learn the different types of money and how to make change. Some children spend their money immediately, while others save it for something they really want.

Share, Save, Spend. To encourage money management, saving, and giving, we gave each child three baby food jars marked with the words Share, Save, and Spend. Our daughters received a small allowance every Friday that they could spend on whatever they wanted after they put a dime for each dollar in the save jar, and a dime for each dollar in the share jar.

Ways to Share. As church attendees we wanted our daughters to learn about sharing with others. Sometimes they gave their "Share" money during a Sunday school class or to a special project, like the Angel Tree project for Christmas gifts for children with incarcerated parents.

Vacation Money. Another way we taught our girls about money was on family vacations. We provided meals for them, but we gave them a specific amount of money in an envelope for each day. The money was to cover the cost of snacks and souvenirs. This truly saved us money instead of paying for a snack, then another snack, then a souvenir, then another souvenir, etc. Sometimes they saved up several days to buy something they really wanted. We also discovered that there were happier to eat snacks we'd brought along instead of using "their money" to buy snacks.

Modeling Money Choices. Most importantly, money management needs to be modeled by you. If you want your children to save and share with others, they need to see you doing likewise. If you want them spending money responsibly on vacation, let them watch you doing the same. With money matters, much is "caught." Let your children catch you being a wise steward of the finances entrusted to you.

Resources:

www.sharesavespend.com
www.threejars.com
Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/  green-piggy-bank-isolated-546207-s. Accessed 4/18/2014.

 

Book Review: The Trophy Kids Grow Up

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D.
Author, Speaker, Educator

           One of the best books I've read is The Trophy Kids Grow Up: How the Millennial Generation is Shaking up the Workplace, by Ron Alsop.

         The Millennial Generation

           If you work with young people who were born between 1980 and 2001, information about the Millennial Generation (also called Generation Y and Generation Next) explains about this new kind of student, worker, and global citizen. These children received "trophies" or rewards for most everything they've ever done. Now they're entering the workforce demanding "rewards" for completing standard job responsibilities.

           Fortune 500 Companies
          The "helicopter parent" provides the foundation for Alsop's observations. Their children are showing up with college degrees at Fortune 500 Companies and bringing their parents with them for interviews and salary negotiations. You've probably heard of "Take Your Daughter to Work," but he addresses "Take Your Parents to Work" and the challenges this is creating for corporate America.

          Stirring Up the Workplace
          This eleven chapter, 262 page book, addresses the millennial generation's tendencies, how the millennials and employers will adapt to one another, and organizations who are taking the lead in effectively working with this generation and their parents. The book cover states, "The Trophy Kids Grow Up will show employers, parents, and millennials themselves how this remarkable generation promises to stir up the workplace--and perhaps the world."

           Book Information: The Trophy Kids Grow Up: How the Millennial Generation is Shaking up the Workplace, Ron Alsop, Jossey-Bass, 2008. Available from Amazon.com. Hardcover $15.95, Kindle Edition $13.72. Also available in audio edition.  

We Don't Have Any Money! Money Matters for Preschoolers

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013

Author, Speaker, Educator

"Mommy, I want candy."

"We don't have money for that," I state.

I continue adding items from my shopping list to the grocery cart.

"I want donuts. Pleassssse," my three-year-old daughter begs.

 "We don't have any money," I explain once again.  "Count three cans of corn for mommy. That's right; you found three cans from our shopping list."

After several more times of telling my daughter we don't have any money, we finally finish our grocery list and approach the checkout stand. The clerk scans all the items and summarizes, "That will be $28.35."

"My mom doesn't have any money," my daughter quickly informs her.

My face reddens with embarrassment. The kind clerk informs her, "That's okay. I don't have any money either," as she smiles at me.

No Money for That
Of course my child thinks I don't have any money to buy groceries. How many times did I say that to her? What I neglected to explain to my three-year-old is that we have money for what we NEED, but not always for extra things that we WANT.

Wants versus Needs
So began our new campaign at home. When Kristen saw something she wanted, my husband and I started explaining the difference between a need and a want.  For example, "It would be really fun to have ..... Let's put it on your want list for the future." If it was something she needed, we clarified, "Yes, you're right. You need new shoes. Your old shoes are too small."

Over Time
By the time our daughters were in early elementary school, they could accurately identify the difference between a need and a want. God always provides for our needs. And many times He blesses us with our wants.

Lessons Learned
In the grocery store that day, I learned a key component of money management. We must teach our children the difference between a need and a want. It is a basic principle of training children about money. Do you know the difference? What about your children? Do they know the difference? Today's a perfect day for teaching this concept.

1. Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/. coins-1428100-s. Accessed 4/17/2014.

Laundry or Writing?

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013

Author, Speaker, Educator

"What keeps you from writing?" questions keynote speaker, during a writers conference in late March.

"The Laundry," one mother replies.

The laundry? How old are your kids? I wonder.

The speaker wonders the same. "How old are your kids?" he probes.

"Four teenagers and one husband," she boasts.

I hear the audience's collective surprise. I haven't done my kids' laundry since they turned 13. Are you still doing your teenagers laundry? Is there something you do for your kids that they could do themselves? Is there something else you'd rather do with your time?

Milestones

My husband and I were committed to training our daughters to live independently and possess necessary life skills by the time they graduated from high school. Laundry falls into this category. We wanted milestones our children could experience in tangible ways affirming that they were growing up. Getting older requires more responsibilities, but it also comes with more privileges.

Privileges & Responsibilities

Starting at age ten, we negotiated with them both a privilege and a responsibility. Some years they chose the same privilege and responsibility while other years they differed. Each year they also went to bed 15 minutes later. For example, when they turned ten, they went to bed at 8:15 PM. The privilege they chose was getting their ears pierced. The responsibility was making family dinner one night a week.

Dinner Duty

"Make dinner one night a week?" a parent whines. "My kids can barely use the microwave."

Yes, make dinner every week. They can do this because I started training our girls in the kitchen before they were two years old. Pictures attest to pouring with measuring cups, cracking eggs, using a hand mixer, and spooning cookie batter onto a baking sheet. Of course they made a mess. But they also enjoyed eating foods they helped prepare while learning math skills and nutrition. By age ten, they were ready. We had our fair share of burritos, spaghetti, and hot dog casserole. As they got older, they began trying more complex family recipes and finding recipes on their own.

Gender Issues

I know what you're thinking. Your children are girls. You didn't raise boys. It's true, but we would have made the same requirements if we had had sons. They need the same skills for living independently as girls do. Serving as a male role model, my husband also began cooking dinner one night a week. Well, at least that's what he called bringing home take-out food for some of his "cooking" nights.

Finally, A Driver's License

But my favorite privilege and responsibility arrived with my daughters' sweet sixteen birthday celebrations. Since my oldest daughter was eight, I'd been counting how many more years until she'd drive. Driving a car comes with a multitude of privileges, otherwise known as freedom, but also a multitude of responsibilities, otherwise known as DMV laws.

New Freedom for All

This new freedom wasn't only for our daughters, but freedom for us as parents. Freedom from taking them everywhere they needed to go. The privilege: our car to drive as long as they maintained a 3.0 GPA. The responsibility: creating a family menu every two weeks and grocery shopping on a budget. We didn't plan a menu and do major grocery shopping for over four years until our youngest moved out. What could you do with all that extra time?

Back to the Laundry

I just got so excited about the privileges and responsibilities that I forgot about the laundry challenges. I know. You're concerned your teenagers will ruin their clothes. Most likely they won't for two reasons. One, you've spent years training them; and two, they have a clothing budget that started at age twelve. They might ruin clothes YOU bought them, but its less likely they'll ruin the ones they budgeted for and purchased. They know exactly how much each item costs and what it will cost to replace it. I'll address more on that topic when I write more on "Money Matters."

Laundry or ....?

So what would you rather do with your time?  Laundry or ... ? I'd rather write. And since I don't do my own laundry until Friday, today I'll write.

1.       Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/ home-icons-1-1377720-s. Accessed 4/17/2014.

Changing Christmas Traditions, Part 2

Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D., © 2012

Author, Speaker, Educator
 

The other day at the mall, before I retreated towards the ladies bathroom for a pity party, my thirteen-year-old son and twelve-year-old daughter insisted on changing some Christmas traditions. It was quite a shock. They both know how important holiday celebrations are in this family.

I've been pondering and I think I've got it. The kids, I guess they're not kids, but I can't quite say it, very young adolescents, already gave up sitting on Santa's lap. We're not celebrating Happy Birthday Jesus parties anymore. I can't snap photos in front of the tree on Christmas morning in their pajamas just before opening stockings from Santa. I noticed that they left "stockings from Santa" on the list. Since they don't believe in Santa anymore, maybe I'll remove that one myself. "No stockings from Santa" - delete. "That felt good," I claim.

Since I promised I'd listen to my kid's input, listed below are child-friendly Christmas traditions we've celebrated and how we've adapted them for adolescent-friendly traditions. Change is really difficult for me because I love all our family traditions. So why am I going to all this trouble? It's simple. I want my adolescents to hold onto our Christian beliefs, and learn that how we practice our traditions can be modified. These new age-appropriate traditions can assist them in expressing that Christ is Lord of their life. How could a mother refuse?

 

Family Traditions	Child-Friendly Traditions	Adolescent-Friendly Traditions
Happy Birthday Jesus Party   happy-birthday-599394-2	Happy Birthday Jesus Birthday invitations are handmade or computer generated by children. Neighborhood children are asked to donate canned food "gifts" for the Angel Tree Project (families with incarcerated parent). During the party, read the Christmas story from the most age-appropriate book, sing Happy Birthday to Jesus, serve birthday cake, and play fun Christmas games.	Our early adolescents enjoy going door-to-door in the neighborhood collecting canned food as we tag along. They quickly discover they obtain more food than at the party. Bring along several double-bagged grocery bags. Finally, we deliver the groceries to our churches' Angel Tree Project. Note: Teens must be willing to articulate who food is for, i.e.: gospel mission, needy families, Angel Tree Project, etc.

 

New Christmas Ornaments Christmas-series-1-1109001-s "Where did the years go?"	Beginning when each baby is born, purchase an ornament that is representative of the year. As ornaments are added, create a list for each child with the year, ornament, and who it's from. Store each child's ornaments in separate boxes. As children decorate the tree with their own ornaments, you can hear them recall, "Oh, I remember this one. That's the year I visited Grandmother in Kansas." These ornaments become family heirlooms when they move away, so buy yourself a new ornament or two every year or your tree will be empty along with your empty nest.	As your children get older, they can select their own special ornament. They'll have more life events to choose from, so help them recall some highlights. Some ideas include: 6th grade camp, babysitting, awards, sports teams, vacations, missions trip, or getting a driver's license. With the increasing price of ornaments, you may need to create a budget. Some adolescents can spend months hunting for the ideal ornament, especially with Christmas decorations displayed in July.
Christmas Cards & Letters Christmas-traditional-1116313-s	Some years we send a Christmas card, photo, and/or family letter that recounts God's blessings and highlights each family member. When purchasing cards, try selecting religious cards or cards from an organization you support.	Let your adolescents choose their own photo(s) for the card. Save time and ask them to create the family card. To avoid adolescent embarrassment, invite them to write their own section for the family's letter. Give them a word count and due date.
The Hallmark Christmas Tree   Christmas-tree-1435295-13-s	My mother let us decorate our tree, but later she'd move the ornaments where she wanted them. She didn't think we noticed, but we did. Decide early on what's more important: the perfect tree or time together creating happy memories. If you treasure your "Hallmark" tree, provide a small tree for the children to decorate.	"What do you mean you don't want to get the Christmas tree this year?" Oh yeah, my adolescents want to include their friends. Encourage your kids to invite a friend or two to traipse along with the family. After choosing the perfect tree, let the young people decorate it, lights and all. Hang around while serving hot chocolate & treats. No, it won't be your Hallmark tree; it may be more interesting and definitely more memorable.
Photos with Santa & Gift for Needy Child Baby-and-Santa-682665-2 Note: If your family does not include Santa in your celebrations, follow the gift-giving part.	Dressed in new Christmas outfits, take pictures with Santa at the mall. Next, choose a child's name tag from the Soroptimist's Community Christmas tree for a needy child or teen. Use the money saved from recycling cans for purchasing the gift. Then children scour the mall for the best present. Finally, proudly return the perfect donation to the tree for wrapping.	Let your adolescents choose someone or an organization to help at Christmas. Maybe they know a family who needs food, a bed with a mattress, Christmas tree & decorations, or gifts for their children. Maybe they'd rather choose an organization their passionate about helping. They can still use the money from recycling. If the budget comes up short, planning how to earn the money or collecting donations becomes part of the project.
Coats for Kids snowball-927190-s	As children outgrow their coats each year, we donate them to Coats for Kids. Many different organizations sponsor this type o event such as firefighters or local news channels. Coats are typically distributed in January.	Adolescents can donate their outgrown coats and outerwear too. Additionally, they can collect coats from friends or youth groups to donate.
Sharing Clothes, Toys, Household Items dvd-and-cd-887343-s	In anticipation of new clothes and toys for Christmas, supervise children cleaning out their closets, dressers, and toy boxes. Select items they no longer use or  fit. These items are shared with a younger sibling or given to someone else. Children can go through their belongings after Christmas during their school break. Since children learn from role modeling, this is a perfect time for parents to choose items to donate as well.	You'll notice that adolescents go through growth spurts just like when they were younger. Some years they'll have more to share than other years. They could donate video games, DVDs, and CDs. Let your adolescents choose the recipients. Our daughters know younger girls who love getting a "new to me" wardrobe and new games. The items might be donated to a family who's recently experienced a disaster, such as a fire.

 

Live Nativity and The Journey to Bethlehem crèche-57532-s	Young children learn best through experiences. The story of Jesus' birth is no exception. Find a church that performs an outdoor live nativity. As children get older, find one that also offers a short narration. Bundling up in warm clothes with hot chocolate makes this a treasured memory and valuable way for learning the true Christmas story.	Adolescents can tire of the live nativity and may find more joy in bothering the animals. Perhaps they can become a live nativity performer or handle the manger animals. Many communities offer a more in-depth experience during The Journey to Bethlehem. Stops along the journey tell the story in an engaging manner. Encourage adolescents to invite friends so they'll visit during the long wait in lines. The lines and later evening times make this experience better suited for adolescents. Check your local newspapers or online early in the season for dates and times.
Christmas Morning Pics   Christmas-gifts-2-1121740-s	What's a better memory than photos of little ones dressed in pajamas sitting before the lighted Christmas tree? Some years the siblings wear matching pajamas. Such sweet recollections of adorable children make this tradition harder to give up.	Take "Christmas" photos when adolescents are "dressed up" for a school event, like a winter formal, music or dance performance. Snap photos in front of the tree with their friends. They'll enjoy creating different poses and groupings. Let them use your camera.
Christmas Services or Mass church-1416146-s	Many churches offer Christmas Eve or Christmas Day services or masses at various times that work well for families with young children. As children get older, perhaps an evening service may work. If your church doesn't offer a service, locate one near you that does. Christmas services are usually advertised in the local newspaper or check online.	Many adolescents are weary of attending the same "old" Christmas service. Invite them to choose this year's Christmas service for your family. Maybe they know a friend who's in a Christmas program in another church. Perhaps they'd prefer attending midnight mass or a late service. If there are young children who can't stay up late, allow your adolescent to attend with friends' families. Mom and Dad, you can stay up extra late tonight!

Change is difficult especially when connected to emotionally-laden long-standing traditions. Begin making changes slowly as your children enter early adolescence and adolescence. Share this article with them. Ask them to choose one or two traditions. Maybe these thoughts will generate ideas for adapting your specific celebrations. Oh, and by the way, I decided to keep the Christmas stockings on the list as MY tradition. Undelete.

Images from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/  Accessed 4/19/2014.