Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D.,
© 2012
Author, Speaker, Educator
The other day at the mall, before I retreated towards the ladies
bathroom for a pity party, my thirteen-year-old son and twelve-year-old
daughter insisted on changing some Christmas traditions. It was quite a shock.
They both know how important holiday celebrations are in this family.
I've been
pondering and I think I've got it. The kids, I guess they're not kids, but I
can't quite say it, very young adolescents, already gave up sitting on Santa's
lap. We're not celebrating Happy Birthday Jesus parties anymore. I can't snap photos in front of the tree on Christmas morning in their pajamas just
before opening stockings from Santa. I noticed that they left "stockings
from Santa" on the list. Since they don't believe in Santa anymore, maybe
I'll remove that one myself. "No stockings from Santa" - delete. "That felt good," I
claim.
Since I promised I'd listen to my kid's input,
listed below are child-friendly Christmas traditions we've celebrated and how we've
adapted them for adolescent-friendly traditions. Change
is really difficult for me because I love all our family traditions. So why am
I going to all this trouble? It's simple. I want my adolescents to hold onto our Christian beliefs, and learn that how we practice
our traditions can be modified. These new age-appropriate traditions can assist
them in expressing that Christ is Lord of their life. How could a mother
refuse?
Family Traditions
|
Child-Friendly Traditions
|
Adolescent-Friendly Traditions
|
Happy Birthday
Jesus Party
|
Happy Birthday Jesus Birthday
invitations are handmade or computer generated by children. Neighborhood
children are asked to donate canned food "gifts" for the Angel Tree
Project (families with incarcerated parent). During the party, read the Christmas
story from the most age-appropriate book, sing Happy Birthday to Jesus, serve
birthday cake, and play fun Christmas games.
|
Our early adolescents enjoy going
door-to-door in the neighborhood collecting canned food as we tag along. They
quickly discover they obtain more food than at the party. Bring along several
double-bagged grocery bags. Finally, we deliver the groceries to our
churches' Angel Tree Project. Note: Teens must be willing to articulate who
food is for, i.e.: gospel mission, needy families, Angel Tree Project, etc.
|
New Christmas Ornaments
Christmas-series-1-1109001-s
"Where did the
years go?"
|
Beginning when each baby is born, purchase
an ornament that is representative of the year. As ornaments are added, create
a list for each child with the year, ornament, and who it's from. Store each
child's ornaments in separate boxes. As children decorate the tree with their
own ornaments, you can hear them recall, "Oh, I remember this one.
That's the year I visited Grandmother in Kansas." These ornaments become
family heirlooms when they move away, so buy yourself a new ornament or two
every year or your tree will be empty along with your empty nest.
|
As your children get older, they can
select their own special ornament. They'll have more life events to choose
from, so help them recall some highlights. Some ideas include: 6th grade
camp, babysitting, awards, sports teams, vacations, missions trip, or getting
a driver's license. With the increasing price of ornaments, you may need to
create a budget. Some adolescents can spend months hunting for the ideal
ornament, especially with Christmas decorations displayed in July.
|
Christmas Cards & Letters
Christmas-traditional-1116313-s
|
Some years we send a Christmas card,
photo, and/or family letter that recounts God's blessings and highlights each
family member. When purchasing cards, try selecting religious cards or cards
from an organization you support.
|
Let your adolescents choose their own
photo(s) for the card. Save time and ask them to create the family card. To
avoid adolescent embarrassment, invite them to write their own section for
the family's letter. Give them a word count and due date.
|
The Hallmark
Christmas Tree
Christmas-tree-1435295-13-s
|
My mother let us decorate our tree,
but later she'd move the ornaments where she wanted them. She didn't think we noticed, but we did. Decide early on what's more important: the perfect tree or time
together creating happy memories. If you treasure your "Hallmark"
tree, provide a small tree for the children to decorate.
|
"What do you mean you don't want
to get the Christmas tree this year?" Oh yeah, my adolescents want to
include their friends. Encourage your kids to invite a friend or two to
traipse along with the family. After choosing the perfect tree, let the young
people decorate it, lights and all. Hang around while serving hot chocolate
& treats. No, it won't be your Hallmark tree; it may be more interesting
and definitely more memorable.
|
Photos with Santa & Gift for Needy Child
Baby-and-Santa-682665-2
Note: If your family does not include Santa in your celebrations,
follow the gift-giving part.
|
Dressed in new Christmas outfits, take
pictures with Santa at the mall. Next, choose a child's name tag from the
Soroptimist's Community Christmas tree for a needy child or teen. Use the money
saved from recycling cans for purchasing the gift. Then children scour the
mall for the best present. Finally, proudly return the perfect donation to
the tree for wrapping.
|
Let your adolescents choose someone or
an organization to help at Christmas. Maybe they know a family who needs
food, a bed with a mattress, Christmas tree & decorations, or gifts for
their children. Maybe they'd rather choose an organization their passionate
about helping. They can still use the money from recycling. If the budget
comes up short, planning how to earn the money or collecting donations
becomes part of the project.
|
Coats for Kids
|
As children outgrow their coats each
year, we donate them to Coats for Kids. Many different organizations sponsor
this type o event such as firefighters or local news channels. Coats are
typically distributed in January.
|
Adolescents can donate their outgrown
coats and outerwear too. Additionally, they can collect coats from friends or
youth groups to donate.
|
Sharing Clothes, Toys, Household Items
dvd-and-cd-887343-s
|
In anticipation of new clothes and
toys for Christmas, supervise children cleaning out their closets, dressers, and
toy boxes. Select items they no longer use or
fit. These items are shared with a younger sibling or given to someone
else. Children can go through their belongings after Christmas during their
school break. Since children learn from role modeling, this is a perfect time
for parents to choose items to donate as well.
|
You'll notice that adolescents go
through growth spurts just like when they were younger. Some years they'll
have more to share than other years. They could donate video games, DVDs, and
CDs. Let your adolescents choose the recipients. Our daughters know younger
girls who love getting a "new to me" wardrobe and new games. The
items might be donated to a family who's recently experienced a disaster,
such as a fire.
|
Live Nativity and
The Journey
to Bethlehem
|
Young children learn best through
experiences. The story of Jesus' birth is no exception. Find a church that
performs an outdoor live nativity. As children get older, find one that also
offers a short narration. Bundling up in warm clothes with hot chocolate
makes this a treasured memory and valuable way for learning the true
Christmas story.
|
Adolescents can tire of the live
nativity and may find more joy in bothering the animals. Perhaps they can
become a live nativity performer or handle the manger animals. Many
communities offer a more in-depth experience during The Journey to Bethlehem. Stops along the journey tell the story
in an engaging manner. Encourage adolescents to invite friends so they'll
visit during the long wait in lines. The lines and later evening times make
this experience better suited for adolescents. Check your local newspapers or
online early in the season for dates and times.
|
Christmas Morning Pics
Christmas-gifts-2-1121740-s
|
What's a better memory than photos of
little ones dressed in pajamas sitting before the lighted Christmas tree? Some
years the siblings wear matching pajamas. Such sweet recollections of adorable children make
this tradition harder to give up.
|
Take "Christmas" photos when
adolescents are "dressed up" for a school event, like a winter
formal, music or dance performance. Snap photos in front of the tree with
their friends. They'll enjoy creating different poses and groupings. Let them
use your camera.
|
Christmas Services
or Mass
|
Many churches offer Christmas Eve or
Christmas Day services or masses at various times that work well for families
with young children. As children get older, perhaps an evening service may
work. If your church doesn't offer a service, locate one near you that does.
Christmas services are usually advertised in the local newspaper or check
online.
|
Many adolescents are weary of
attending the same "old" Christmas service. Invite them to choose
this year's Christmas service for your family. Maybe they know a friend who's
in a Christmas program in another church. Perhaps they'd prefer attending
midnight mass or a late service. If there are young children who can't stay
up late, allow your adolescent to attend with friends' families. Mom and Dad,
you can stay up extra late tonight!
|
Change is
difficult especially when connected to emotionally-laden long-standing
traditions. Begin making changes slowly as your children enter early
adolescence and adolescence. Share this article with them. Ask them to choose
one or two traditions. Maybe these thoughts will generate ideas for adapting
your specific celebrations. Oh, and by the way, I decided to keep the Christmas
stockings on the list as MY tradition. Undelete.
Images from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/ Accessed 4/19/2014.
No comments:
Post a Comment